A Friend Who Is a Girl
by Hammer of Oblivion
Summary: On their way back from being stranded on hostile planet, Starfire has thoughts about what happened between her an Robin. Starfire's perspective of "She's Not my Girlfriend!"


**I got to thinking after I wrote, "She's Not my Girlfriend" and wondered what were Starfire's thoughts after that incident. So here is my take on her perspective. I will say Starfire is much harder to right in first person that Robin is. For one she's a girl and being a guy, the difficulties are abounding. So I tried my best. Secondly her speech patterns are unique and difficult to keep in character. One thing about Starfire is she tends to fuss and fret a lot when she's nervous about something and I tried to capture that, though I'm not sure how successful I was. **

**I hope you enjoy.**

_**Disclaimer: The Teen Titans and all characters belong to DC Comics and TimeWarner. I only own the plot of this story and it ain't much.**_

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"A Friend Who is a Girl?"

I was not sure what to do the thinking of. It all seemed like a Kallappatian blood storm, very fast, chaotic and destructive. The pain and confusion I felt when Robin told our friends that I was not his friend who was a girl, or more precisely "girlfriend," was like a blood storm in my very soul. It was Cyborg that uttered that word and Robin's reaction was both confusing and devastating. How he could say those words, "She's not my girlfriend," like he did and hurt me deeply to the core of my being.

I did not have the understanding of his behavior when he said that, but the monster we were in battle with kept me from doing too much of the thinking about it. Once we crashed on that strange planet I had plenty of time to do the thinking about it though. What a _clorbag _Robin was to shame me as he did in front of our friends. What did he think I was to him? I was so upset, angry, hurt and confused that all my strength and abilities were gone. I made the hasty escape when that slug monster tried to attack me, ripping a piece of fabric from my skirt, and found a copse of trees from which to craft a makeshift bow and set of arrows as I was taught by the Warlords of Okarra.

I was ready to face that slug monster and any other threat when he showed up and the slug monster attacked him, part of me hesitated, debating if I should allow the slug monster to do the eating of Robin. I decided that would not be proper and would make me worse than a criminal or my sister, so I shot the foul creature and rescued Robin. Much to my chagrin, the _clorbag _followed me, acting as if nothing had happened between us, as if things were the alright between us. Then the _clorbag _had to add the injury to the insult by explaining to me what a "girlfriend" was, as if I were that stupid. I may not understand all of Earth's confusing cultures and the idiosyncrasies of human courtship, but I knew what a "girlfriend" was and I promptly defined it for that pompous _clorbag. _

What confused me the most is that he had done many of the things with me that I described. As I reflect on things now though, I do not remember anytime in which he did the asking of me to be his girlfriend. As I understood Earth culture, it was customary for the boy to ask the girl to be his girlfriend. Maybe he did not see me in that way, maybe there was something I was doing the missing of in human relationships. Maybe he only saw me as his best friend.

Then of course the ground collapsed and we fell into that cavern and I could no longer fight my sadness. I wanted to hear him do the talking; I no longer wanted to be the angry with him. I wanted the reconciliation, but I was still the upset and confused. If only that _snorfblat _of a monster had not done the interrupting of us just as Robin was about to do the opening up about his feelings for me. It was during that battle that Robin said the most wondrous thing ever to me; "As long as we're together, everything will be okay." I could feel the joy rising in my heart and he took my hand, interlocking our fingers. I cannot do the describing of how his fingers entwined in mine made me feel. I wanted to take him in my arms and do the hugging of him right there, but the monster was charging and we jumped. As we fell, the thoughts and feelings of joy spread through me and I could feel my power of flight returning and we flew up and out of that crevasse to safety.

I did not think that I could feel any better than when he did the holding of my hand, but then he hugged me. Before I had always been the one to initiate the hugging, but he did the reaching out to hug me and it felt glorious. I was overcome with the joy as he pulled me closer to him, our faces touching his hands on my back. Yes, it was what I had done the dreaming of, and then Cyborg and Beast Boy nearly did the ruining of the moment. I was afraid Robin would do the letting go of me, so as to not have Cyborg do the teasing of him. To my pleasant surprise Robin did not let me go, he kept one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, as if he were making a statement to Cyborg and Beast Boy.

Now we were heading home. I am still joyful, but shortly after we did the finding of Raven, Robin became quiet and withdrawn towards all of us, and it seemed especially towards me. Raven said that Robin was tired and probably thinking things through. This worried me as I knew when Robin did the thinking he could over analyze a problem and decide on a wholly different solution. At the Centauri way station where we made temporary repairs he was very quiet. Yes he did stay close to me, and smiled at me with his boyish green but he seemed distracted and withdrawn. I believe the term is "shy". I had heard that Earth boys could act this way with girls that they liked so maybe this was the case. At least I did the hoping that was the case anyway.

Once we left the Centauri way station, I observed Robin as best I could from my pod of the T-Ship. I could tell he was deep in thought, though he was not concentrating on the flying the T-Ship, Cyborg was mostly taking care of the piloting and navigation. If only I had Raven's abilities to know what Robin's thoughts and feelings were. The understanding of him can be so difficult sometimes.

My thoughts turned to what might happen once we returned. How would Robin treat me? Would he treat me like before as a friend but no closer, always leaving me to want and desire more from him? What if he did the withdrawing from me like he did when he was obsessing about a case, especially now with that detestable Slade back in our lives again? What if my opening up to him scared him, I have heard that Earth boy's do that, being afraid of the commitment. If he only knew that it is not a commitment I want, at least not during this time in our lives, I only wish for him to acknowledge his feelings and have a deeper and more caring relationship with me where we share our thoughts and some level of intimacy. Of course not full intimacy, neither one of us is ready for that step in our relationship. Instead I wanted for us to spend special times together, to do the holding of hands when we are next to each other, the snuggling on the sofa while watching the movies, for him to stroke my hair, to sit close to me at the picnics, to hold me during the times when I feel sadness, and to teach me why lip contact or kissing as humans call it is important to them.

I later wondered what he thought when I performed lip contact on him when we first met. I wondered why he looked confused, and it was later that I realized that lip contact could be a form of romantic intimacy with humans, especially between lovers and mates. Once I knew that lip contact was an intimate act, I was too embarrassed to tell him why and he never asked. I sometimes did the wondering why he did not do the asking of why I performed lip contact on him, but now I attribute his lack of asking to his shyness as well.

I became more nervous as I wondered what would happen upon our return. Maybe I should not do the expecting of much. Since our years as being Teen Titans together he has rarely shown the interest in having anything more with me than friendship. Maybe he is repelled by the fact I am not human. I have been told by others that I meet the standards of human beauty, though I consider myself to look no different than an average Tameranean girl of my age. As a matter of fact I am somewhat shorter than most and slimmer than other girls my age. I attribute that to Earth's food sources which do not contain enough protein to meet the needs of a Tamaranean metabolism. I know my orange skin and my eyes declare my non-human heritage, and maybe it is that which he does not find attractive.

I have worked most diligently on what humans call manners, and not pounce on my food and devour it as I would on Tamaran. I have learned the use of utensils and how to eat without making the mess all over the table and myself. I realize my taste in foods is different than that of humans, especially my love of the mustard in all its different flavors. I do have a fondness for the pizza and I find that the Indian and Thai cuisines are most delectable with all their flavors.

I knew from the moment I made lip contact with him though that I had the feelings for him. He was different than all the other males from the different species I knew. He was brave, dauntless, skillful in battle, and looked rather handsome in his colorful outfit. I could sense the warrior in him and something else I only saw from my _k'norfka_ – kindness.

Oh, I do hope he does not do the pulling away from me. I thought he made his intentions clear to me when he fought the palace guard and stopped me from marrying that horrible Sklerch. It was because of this I gave up the crown I rightfully won from my sister to my _k'norfka_ Galfore. I wanted to go back to Earth and be with Robin, my time on Earth had changed me and I knew I was not right for the position of the Grand Ruler and I had strong feelings for Robin. It is true that we did the growing closer, but he still never tried to be more than close friends.

Lost in my thoughts, I noticed the communication indicator light was blinking on my console and ascertained that Raven wished to communicate with me. I opened the channel and her face appeared on the view-screen.

"Greetings Raven, may I be of assistance?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing Starfire; I can feel the turmoil in your emotions. I thought you and Robin had worked things out."

"Yes, yes we have Raven…, no, no we have not…, oh I do not have the knowing if we did or not."

I could see Raven raise a questioning eyebrow on the screen. "Well that's confusing."

"I agree, it is the confusing, I am not confident that we did the working of things out. I mean we did the talking but the monster interrupted him before he could do the completing of what he was trying to say to me. I know he did the intertwining of his fingers in mine, something he has never done before and initiated the hugging of me and he continued to do the holding of me after Cyborg and Beast Boy arrived, but he has become very quiet towards me since then and I am afraid he is doing the changing of his mind."

"Starfire, I will let you know that Robin is having the same thoughts and doubts as you are. I know, because they are disturbing my mediation, that along with your emotions keeps me from meditating at all."

I felt the horrible for Raven, "I offer the apologies…"

"Don't worry about it Star. I guess all this emotional angst is to be expected between you two. I just wish he'd quit dancing around the obvious and just admit to himself, you and everybody else what we all know, that he likes you and is crazy about you."

"Raven, do you really think so, I mean it seems he does have affections towards me, but he never proclaims that he does…"

"Star, yes he does, but he's Robin, protégé of Batman, sharing his emotions is not an easy thing for him. Have you ever told him how you feel about him?"

"No, I have not, it is not proper. I do not wish to do the scaring away of him."

I could see a smirk on Raven's face, "Knowing Robin, it just might."

"What am I to do Raven? My only frame of reference is the movies, television shows. and books of the romance of Earth's culture. On Tamaran, as you know our mates are chosen for us, and the official courtship is arranged, the Earth custom of dating is unheard of. For a Tamaranean, it is not a matter of love, it is a matter of duty and honor. That is not to say love cannot be found in the arranged marriage, it is just that for most, love is found elsewhere. Many of my people take on lovers if they do not find love in the marriage, there is no shame or stigma in this. My people are mostly polyamorous, but monogamy is not unheard of either and is more common among the working and farming classes. My parents were rare in that they chose to remain monogamous, but they loved each other deeply. Though if they had taken lovers, there would be no shame, the marriage is still valid. As you can see, my frame of reference is much different than that of Robin's, and only adds to my confusion. I just…"

It was then I notice Raven interrupting me.

"Starfire…, Starfire, listen, trying to compare Earth and Tamaranean culture is like comparing apples to oranges, ok. It will only make things harder, you need to let nature take its course. It's obvious he likes you, by Azar he adores you, what happened today is a first step. My advice to you is, to not rush him or pressure him or he might just run."

I sighed, feeling like I would forever be frustrated with this Earth boy that I have such strong feelings for.

"Raven, you say that Robin adores me, but then why is it so hard for him to be more with me?"

"Because he's Robin and complicated like that. Starfire, Robin's past is dark, very dark. Being raised by Batman and in Gotham City isn't all sunshine and roses. He also has the need to be with people unlike his mentor who preferred to work alone and hide in the shadows, but his training has repressed that. Expressing his feelings is difficult and any expression you get from him is meaningful."

"Raven, maybe I should just be happy with what I have for now with him, but I do not think I can do the waiting forever. Tamaraneans thrive off the love we share with our friends and the intimate love we share with our mates. If he waits too long I may not be there for him, though admittedly I am willing to wait a bit longer. There is no other I feel this way for."

I could see Raven smirk. "Oh really, what about Speedy, Aqualad, or that friend of Robin's, Kid Flash or Cyborg or Beast Boy, and didn't you say Red X has called you more than a few times?"

I frowned at Raven, and shook my head, though some were respectable heroes in their own right, none of them were Robin.

"Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy are like brothers to me, they are both sweet, but I know Cyborg has his eye on a cute blond he met in the park not long ago who works with the disabled children, Sarah I believe her name is. Beast Boy is a good friend, and he is funny, but I have never seen him as more than that. Besides I do believe he is doing the crushing on you."

I could see Raven visibly darken through the screen, "Hmphh!, like he'd have a chance. The little green menace.

I giggled, "Now Raven, even you have said to me and Bumble Bee that Beast Boy is the cute."

Raven scowled. "No changing the subject Starfire, now where were we…, oh yes, the other Titan males…, what about Speedy?"

I let out a small sigh, "Raven, to be the honest I do not feel comfortable around Speedy, he makes me the nervous, as if he is looking at me in a way that is inappropriate behind his mask. He is the sneaky one, he is always staring at me when he thinks I am not looking his way. One time he was watching me work on my yoga, but I did the catching him. He did the tripping over himself to get a way and his face turned as red as his uniform.

"Yeah, Speedy can be a perv, I wouldn't trust him either what about Aqualad? I know you liked him, we both did."

I shook my head and smiled. "Yes Raven, Aqualad is very handsome and I admit I did do the crushing of him, and he is a prince after all, someone I can do the relating to, but he is a bit aloof and he has Tula. Also he smelled of the ocean and fish, which can be quite overpowering after time in the sun."

"I noticed that too, and he has to return to the water every so often or he gets very weak and could eventually die."

I nodded. "Yes, that is an obstacle as well. Tamaraneans are not good swimmers and salt water does affect my ability to process energy, making a relationship with Aqualad difficult. As far as Robin's friend Kid Flash, he is a funny person and easy to like, but he likes girls too much. We could be good friends, but nothing more. As for Red X, he is a criminal and a stalker, I despise him not only because he stole from Robin, but also because of what that awful suit means to me…" I felt the anger rise inside of me.

"Oh, but you did say he calls you?"

"Yes, he has done the hacking in to the Titans network, though Cyborg keeps blocking him. He even tried to friend me on the Facebook and the Twitter, though I blocked him there. He is most persistent though."

"I see, I also sense you have mixed feelings about him."

"Raven, Red X is a criminal, though he has helped us on occasion, and I admit I am intrigued by whom he may be, he is still some one that should face justice."

"Well, that makes it clear, so Robin's it then?"

I slowly nodded my head, contemplating Raven's question, "Yes, you can say that. I really have not considered any other Earth boy outside of Robin. That is not to say that I have not considered Tamaranean males."

I could see a slight look of confusion on Raven's face. "Uh Starfire, are you hiding something from us, as far as I know, you're the only Tamaranean person on Earth."

I allowed myself a small grin. "No there are no other Tamaraneans on Earth that I am aware of. What I implied is that technically, as a Princess of the royal house of Tikal and the Clan of And'r I can still be betrothed to another prince or noble by the Grand Ruler. Though Galfore has promised that he would not and my giving up of the crown has made me less desirable to other royal clans, it can still happen. Galfore's claim to the crown is based on his ability to keep it. If he can establish a dynasty with an heir, then his wishes will be honored by his direct heir. If he does not establish a dynasty, then I could be recalled to Tamaran and married to a prince of the new Grand Ruler's choosing and I must agree to it."

Raven's expression showed concern, "Can't you refuse? I mean what if you say no."

"Then Tamaran will fall into a state of civil war which could extend to Earth. A Tamaranean strike force would devastate much of Earth, something I cannot allow. For me to refuse is not worth the death and destruction that would come from it."

"By Azar, that is quite a predicament. Have you considered how this might affect Robin, if they did recall you?"

I felt heaviness in my heart now, the truth is it is a very real possibility, but not at the moment. When it is I will have to do the bridge crossing then.

"I have Raven, but it may not happen, I must live in the now and not what may be. Galfore has a daughter and his wife is with child, a son, and Galfore is highly respected by my people. I am confident that a recall for me is not for me to do the worrying about."

"Will you tell Robin?"

"In time Raven, and that depends on how things work out between us."

"Starfire, I'm not the best at giving advice in relationship, but my advice to you is to talk with Robin, take things slow. You may want to keep your options open, especially with what you told me about the possibility of a recall."

"I understand Raven, for now though I wish to enjoy what I have today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. For now that is to be with Robin. Who knows it may not work out anyway, as much as that thought saddens me, but if I do not do the trying, then I will never experience the joy or the pain. My people relish in our emotions, both the good and the bad, it is how we live and grow and all we have is the now. Thank you for talking to me Raven, my thoughts are clearer now."

"You're welcome, now I need to deal with bird boy, he's about to drive me batty, pun intended."

I laughed heartily at that. "Yes, he is good at that. I think I will rest now, I am feeling rather tired."

"Good, you do that Starfire, we all need some rest after today's events."

I turned off the communications link and look towards Robin's pod. He was talking to someone, maybe it was Raven. I hoped she would clear his thoughts as she did mine. I smiled thinking about him, and prayed to X'hal that things would do the working out between us. As I did I felt my eyes shut and the pleasant feel of sleep overwhelmed my mind and body.

I awoke to the sound of the ships alarm blaring in my ears. I looked around and could see were in our landing approach to Earth, home.

The landing was a little rough, but I did not fault either pilot for that, the T-Ship had much damage and needed major repairs. I thanked X'hal we made it back in one piece. After landing we all performed our assigned landing protocols before exiting the ship. I noticed Robin was the first of us out and he went right to work securing the landing chocks. Part of me had hoped he would come over to my pod and offer to help me out. I know his help was not necessary, but it would have been a welcome gesture.

I picked up my flight pack and decided to fly up to absorb the rays of Earth's wonderful yellow sun, the warmth and energy flew through me as I floated above the roof of the Tower. It was also an opportunity for me to get a glimpse of Robin. I quickly scanned the others below me and saw Robin looking around, then look up; I quickly looked away feeling suddenly shy. I smiled nervously and floated down to the roof below. I quickly grabbed my flight pack and started to make my way towards the access door, then I heard him call out to me.

"Hey Star…"

I stopped, slightly gasped, and felt the bewildered as I turned towards him.

"Yes Robin." I said softly.

He walked towards me and I could feel the flies of butter in my stomachs. What will he say? I could not do the reading of his face.

"Hey, uhm…, I was thinking maybe once we get settled and all…, maybe, uh..., you and I…, can maybe…" He stumbled out, he was clearly as nervous as I was.

"Yes Robin?" I asked him again, with a little more excitement in my voice, a smile creeping across my face.

He cleared his throat and looked around at the others, then nervously back at me.

"I thought that maybe…, we could…, uh, pick up where we left off."

What? What did he say, he wanted us to pick up something, or maybe it was the Earth slang I had so much difficulty with. I smiled brightly at him hoping for the best, but just in case I asked, "What is it we will be doing the picking up of?"

"You know, we never finished our conversation on the planet. I thought we could…, you know finish that."

I felt my smile grow even larger and brighter to the point that my cheeks hurt, but I answered him as calmly as I could; "That would be most pleasing; yes I would like to finish our conversation."

He swallowed hard before he spoke again, "Ok, say in half an hour, here on the roof."

I was practically about to burst now, but I had to keep my composure, but I could not hide my smile; "Yes, I will be here on one half of the hour."

Then with joy in my heart I flew to the access door then down to my room. I had to get ready, so I quickly made the most of freshening myself up. Unfortunately there was no time to shower, oh how I wished my quarters had a private room of bathing attached. If it did, I would have taken the quickest shower ever. Instead I did what I could to look nice for Robin and quickly flew down to the shared room of bathing and freshened up as quickly as possible without breaking the laws of physics.

I flew back down to my room and put on a fresh uniform, some quick make up, brushing of the hair and the perfume Robin gave me for Christmas, then looked at the clock. Oh no, I was nearly late. I hope Robin did not think I was and was no longer waiting for me.

I made with the haste to fly up to the roof and saw Robin waiting at the edge looking towards the city. I floated over to him, and landed quietly next to him so as to not disturb his thoughts. He took a breath and turned to look at me, as pleasant grin on his face.

"Hi Star, glad you could join me."

I felt shy again, "I am too glad Robin."

He then reached out and took my right hand in his left, causing my hand and arm to tingle.

"Star, I just want to say that, I, um…," he stopped to clear his throat, he was clearly nervous.

"Yes Robin?" I asked in nervous anticipation.

"Well, that I would like for you to be my friend who is a…"

Suddenly his communicator chirped and the building alarms sounded off.

"Hold that thought Star." He said. "What?"

I felt my heart drop, X'hal! Why now?

"We got a major alarm going off in the business district, several banks broken into and damage everywhere." I heard Cyborg say over the communicator.

Robin sighed in resignation. "Star we can't seem to catch a break, can we?"

I smiled back at him, though I was disappointed, "It does not seem so Robin."

He took my hand again and pulled me closer to him and spoke with a quiet though husky voice. "We'll finish this conversation after we take care of this. You ok with that."

Of course I was, I had no other choice, I nodded; "I am ok with that."

"Let's go then, the quicker we get this over with the quicker we can get back here." He said the with a playful look and asked; "Fly me to the garage?"

"It would be my pleasure Robin." I said with a playful smile as well.

* * *

**There you have it. I hope it caught Starfire's character, like I said she is hard to write in first person. Couple of things, I really don't think I should continue beyond this, to do so would be contrary to how things played out in the show and the Trouble in Tokyo movie. Like I said in the Robin version of the this story, it is my belief that "Trouble in Tokyo" takes place soon after the end of the fourth season anyway, so it's not too long before he comes around. Though they may have worked something out, because of how friendly they were towards each other in "The End" Parts One and Two. **

**To let you know Raven talks to Starfire before she talks to Robin, go back and read "She's Not my Girlfriend" for perspective. Also, there is comic lore in here too, for example, Starfire was recalled to Tamaran to honor her betrothal to Prince Karras of Kallappat to prevent a civil war on Tamaran. Kallappat is the southern continent of Tamaran in the comics, in case you didn't know. **

**I know Kid Flash doesn't show up until season five in the series, but in the comics, he and Robin are best friends who start the Teen Titans along with Speedy, Aqualad and Wonder Girl. My thoughts are that Kid Flash has shown up a few times previously and met the other Titans. **

**Later.**


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